I am not sure I understand why I am feeling this way?!? I just seem angry today for everything. I am angry for everyone who has suffered from Cancer. I am angry for the fact that I had to watch my mom die slowly for ten years. I am mad that my family has had to endure Alzheimer's, Cancer, Dialysis, Diabetes and heart problems. I look at other happy people getting to spend time with their grandparent's and I am angry I can not do that.
All this from finding out a beatiful person who didn't deserve to die....has died.
I was diagnosed September 2009. Why am I SOOO mad NOW??? I don't like this place called Anger....it scares me because I can not control the thoughts that run through my mind and the things I want to scream. Why do some people live..and others have to die. How does some dirtbag in jail who has killed people get to live....but someone with a beautiful heart, beautiful family and such a zest for life have to die???
Yes, I read my bible...and I know what most people would say to me or preach to me. Doesn't change the fact that I already know those answers...and I am still mad!!!! I tried praying...I want to understand...there is still no explanation that makes me feel better right now at this time.
I guess I hope that understanding will come to me soon. I do not want to be bitter and angry for very long.
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