Well, another Facebook Free day.  And a successful day I would say.  I am so glad I got up and went to church today.  Yesterday was a "bad" day for me and wasn't sure if I would make myself get up and go or not.  But going to church today helped give me a little peace with my struggles.  Sometimes, just being honest with others of my struggles truly does help.  I am so thankful that my Pastor's wife took time to listen to me today.  It was really not my intention to open up and be honest, but I am thankful I did.  I know Dan and Marji pray for me daily, at least now they know exactly what my struggles are.  Thank you Marji for listening. 

So, instead of coming home and crawling into bed (trust me I really wanted to), I went immediately to the laundry room and began doing the "mommy super clean thing" that the daughters won't learn for many years to come.  Which then got me back into my bedroom to collect the large collection of books that I have read since I found out I had cancer.  Next to Facebook, reading has been my second favorite activity.  So many friends, family and church members made sure that I always had something to read. Especially during the week I was in isolation for my radiation. Facebook, reading and the IPOD Christmas gift from my church group ladies (already loaded with 300 plus christian songs) is what help me get through one of the lonliest and sickest times of my life.  Ok...back to the subject...the side of my bed had become a huge pile of finished books that I just was too tired to carry downstairs to put in my bookshelves. I finally loaded them all up into a box and had Nic carry the box downstairs for me so I could put them all away.  Now, don't worry about me, there is still a nice pile of UNREAD books waiting on the other side of my bed waiting their turn.  Oh and did I mention that the laundry room looks amazing and so nice when all the laundry is done and everything is put away??

Let's see, I then spent an emotional hour or so doing something that I have wanted to do for a very long time, but have not been able to make myself do it.  I had inherited my great grandmother's Secretary/Hutch and  when I bought my house and my grandma moved in with me, I was allowed to have it, but since she was still alive we still kept all of her paperwork, cards and letters from friends, hospitalization paperwork, list goes on and on..not to mention the tons and tons of pictures in it.  After she died, instead of going through it, we just started using the three drawers as junk drawers and kept throwing stuff in on top of her stuff.   A good garbage sack later, and a paper shredder worn out.  I have finally made myself go through and get rid of the old paperwork that is no longer needed, cried while I looked back to pictures of a young and happy little girl who just adored her grandma's, and even older pictures of my VanRassen family.  I am so glad I have all these photos, and really need to sit down with my girls someday soon to tell them who the pictures are of (before I forget myself)  A little harder now to remember since my mom is gone too and I can't go and ask her anymore.  If my Aunt Neecie is reading this right now, I know her heart is breaking  because she knows the sorrow I am experiencing in the loss of my mom and grandma (her mother and her sister).  Oh, not that the rest of my family is not still grieving the loss of my mom....she has only been gone one year and my father and siblings are still a very broken family and still trying to figure out what the "new" us is without her.  For those of you who do not know. My mother died November 2, 2009 from H1N1.  She died three weeks after my surgery to remove my Thyroid, and shortly after her funeral I was beginning treatments. Needless to say the Holidays of 2009 were not the best for my entire family.  2010 wasn't much better.  But we will eventually find our own "new traditions". 

So, the end of a successful day, clean laundry room, clean bedroom and clean secretary (even polished it).  I did not ride the exercise bike today, but I made so many trips up and down my stairs that I am counting it good for the day, haha.

Back to work tomorrow, but with this snow storm I am going to have to beg the one daughter to get up and scoop and scrape my car off for me before I go to work.  It has gotten soo cold out there that I just can not breathe in it. I spend the first hour at work hacking like crazy even though I have my inhaler in hand.  I really need to be beemed over to a warm tropical island for some sun therapy!!! 

Night All....and hope everyone has a wonderful week. 

~Momma T~